Quips, Quote, and Poems
by CrystalGalaxyRaven
Summary: The title explains most of it... But basically I've found lots of funny quips and quotes online or from other sources and put them together for you guys. This will be an ongoing thing, with me adding to it over time. What's that? I didn't mention the poetry? Fun Fact: I wrote that all myself unless stated otherwise. Enjoy! (I wasn't really sure how to categorize this, just fyi...)
1. Chapter 1

**This poem is in honor of all those bedrooms out there—definitely **_**not**_** mine—that seem to find a way to end up like this. Happy reading!**

**Xxx**

**The Bedroom**

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Who's room _is_ this?

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The floor is all dirty,

The bed is a mess;

The desk is all cluttered

The goldfish distressed.

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There's a sock on the lampshade,

An old, dirty dish,

This room's a disaster—

Did I mention the fish?

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Oh fish, that poor fish—

It really looks sick!

No fish food—just glitter

And a plastic St. Nick!

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This room is a junkyard!

The fish nearly dead—

Plus, there's candy and crumbs

In that big, unmade bed!

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It's really disgraceful,

This stuff in the way—

Hello? What's that?

It's _my_ room you say?

Xxx

Oh. I thought it looked familiar.


	2. Chapter 2

**I've got some funny quips and quotes (or whatever you want to call these) here for you today! I personally thought they were hilarious, but each to their own opinion. Leave a review with a funny quip or quote and I'll post it in a future chapter, along with a shout-out to the person who shared it! Enjoy!**

**Xxx**

Doorbell broken—yell ding-dong really loud!

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Don't vacuum and listen to loud music at the same time. I finished three rooms before I realized that the vacuum cleaner wasn't even on.

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Whenever I clean my closet, I take a GPS with me so I can find my way back.

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Lazy people fact #2347827309018287. You were too lazy to read that number.

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I wish I were a kid again so everyone would be proud of me for taking a long nap.

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Today I realized that the word 'bed' actually looks like a bed.

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They say you learn from your mistakes. That's why I'm making as many as possible. Soon, I'll be a genius!

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FACEBOOK: Because time isn't going to kill itself!

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When people tell me "you're going to regret that in the morning," I sleep until noon because I'm a problem solver.

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(I didn't write this poem, but I like it!)

Roses are red

My name is not Dave

This makes no sense

Microwave


	3. Special Holiday Chapter!

**I know this is a little late, but I wanted to do a Christmas post for you guys. This is a poem that I wrote that's basically pasted together from multiple sources, as well as my imagination. Hope you like it! **

**Xxx**

**The Twelve Days of Facebook**

On the twelfth day of Christmas, my facebook gave to me:

12 guys I'm blocking,

11 friends just watching,

10 friend requests,

9 advertisements,

8 friends complaining,

7 stalkers stalking,

6 party invites,

FIIIIIIIIIVE DRAMA QUEEEEEEEEENS!

4 game requests,

3 photo tags,

2 annoying posts,

And some kid who won't stop messaging meeeeeeeeee!

**Xxx**

**Merry Christmas and Happy New Year, everyone!**


	4. Chapter 4

**This is a poem that I wrote a while ago, but I still laugh every time I read it.**

**Xxx**

**Bed Bouncing**

Sister bouncing on the bed

Jumps too high, she'll hit her head.

What happens if I startle her?

Then she'll hit her head for sure!

Sneak into the room with glee—

She still doesn't notice me!

Hide behind the laundry bin

I jump out and yell and then—

Sister trips and falls on me!

What a sight we both must be!

But now I really need to beg,

"_Please will you get off my leg?"_

**Xxx**

**Has something like this ever happened to you? If you have time, you can message me the story—I'd love hear what happened! 'Til next time, my wonderful readers!**


	5. Chapter 5

**Aaaaaaaand it's more funny quips, quotes, and thingimabobs for y'all today! Happy reading!  
Xxx**

A cat walked up to the paper shredder and said "Teach me everything you know."

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Can we just admit we may have taken this 'anyone can be president' thing just a little too far?

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Patience is a virtue. It's just not one of _my_ virtues.

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No need to repeat yourself; I ignored you just fine the first time.

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Does running late count as exercise?

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If I say I will do it, I will do it! No need to remind me every six months.

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I never make that same mistake twice. I make it five or six times, just to be sure.

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In my defense, I was left unsupervised.

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I'm going to stop asking 'How dumb can you get?' because people seem to be taking it as a challenge.

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I don't trip—I do random gravity checks.

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I'm returning your nose. I found it in my business.

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There's a cheeseburger out there with my name on it!

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Due to unfortunate circumstances, I am awake.

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I could be a morning person if morning happened at noon.

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Instead of a sign that says 'do not disturb,' I need one that says 'Already disturbed. Proceed with caution.'

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So when is this 'old enough to know better' supposed to kick in?


	6. Chapter 6

**This is a poem that I wrote a while ago—it's a free-verse thing that kinda just happened.**

**Xxx**

**Dreams**

Dreams: the swirling of thoughts

Deep in your sub conscience;

Foggy images—familiar, yet unknown

Some are pleasant—sunlight dappling the ground

With green leaves pushing at the edges of the sky.

Some are frightening—aliens invading the galaxy

Or a gigantic mutant crayfish apocalypse.

Others are strange—you and your cousin swapped houses

(Even though you'd never do that).

Dreams are mysterious mental puzzles

Where the final piece is forever.

Possibly under the couch.


End file.
